V is for Vow

v silver on blueI bet you can guess what one of my New Year’s resolutions was this year. Yep, to recommit to my blog.

So where have I been the past four months? I wish I could say I was in Sri Lanka or

Image from HealthyPlace.com

Image from HealthyPlace.com

the North Pole or something but I wasn’t. I was in my little apartment. Here’s a few things I did do:

Tried not to kill myself. As hard as it is to believe if you don’t struggle with it yourself, I spend a good part of everyday talking myself into living. Most of the time the thoughts of death are like a habit. “I gotta remember to buy eggs the next time I’m at the store. No one gives a shit about me. I should be dead.” Other times it’s a constant argument with myself, complete with resisting the urge to Google “best ways to commit suicide.”

Almost got evicted. By August I was eight months behind in rent. Understandably, my landlord was a bit frustrated and he gave me an ultimatum: pay up or get out. Well, with no income and nowhere to go I couldn’t do either. Luckily I managed to qualify for a local assistance program that just barely covers my rent.

I applied for Social Security Disability. This sounds easier than it is. First off, there’s an online form. Then a phone interview. Then a bunch of paperwork has to be completed and sent to them. Including releases of information so they can talk to every person you ever known about everything from the last time you sneezed to the first time you giggled. Now I’m waiting for the next step, which I understand is having to go to some doctor picked by them who will say if I am or am not well enough to work. Fun.

Slept a lot. And ate. A lot.

Image from keepbusy.netpic.phpid=3347.

Image from keepbusy.netpic.phpid=3347.

Promised a friend that I’d take care of my Diabetes. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m a Type II Diabetic (go here if you don’t know what this is) and I haven’t had any medication for it in over a year. This was a bit distressing for me because I’ve suddenly had to test my blood and take medication and—gasp!—eat healthy. Not so easy for someone who is a binge eater.

Now I’m back with my New Year’s vow to write in this blog again. I made other vows too (I’ll write about them later) but the one that matters today is this blog. I’m committing myself to write something at least once a week. And since you’ll be reading it (hopefully), please let me know if there’s anything you’d like to hear about.

That’s it for this week. Exciting I know…

Take care.
Bonnie

 

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